


The Universe

by MicrosuedeMouse



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicrosuedeMouse/pseuds/MicrosuedeMouse
Summary: Amanda draws connections and arrives at the only logical conclusion. After that, it's just a matter of getting a chance to talk to him about it.





	The Universe

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a couple weeks ago (before starting my drabble series, I think) and wasn't sure about it at the time, but I like it better now. It's very short and simple, but that's not a bad thing. Given my current mission to finish and post as many of 2017’s WIPs as possible, now seems as good a time as any to share! Hope you enjoy. (:

Amanda didn’t really know it until he was gone, trapped in Blackwing and god only knew how she was going to get him out. She knew they had a connection, knew she was drawn to him, but she hadn’t gotten a handle on it yet. She didn’t think she could be blamed for that, really, given how strange everything with the Rowdy Three was. Figuring _anything_ out where they were involved took some extra time. Of course, that didn’t mean she wasn’t kicking herself over it, didn’t do anything to lessen her desperation to rescue her boys.

It was being alone with Vogel that really pushed her through to the inevitable conclusion. The poor boy depended so heavily on her; was so lost without his brothers. But over time, it became apparent to her – despite the codependence of the Rowdy Three, they _were_ individuals. That had been the biggest piece she needed to make it all fit together. It was hard not to think of them like a single organism, a collective force something slightly greater than the sum of its parts. When the four of them worked together – which, really, was always – they were like one being, a whole thing not quite human. Perhaps even slightly more than human. But spending months alone with Vogel she came to understand him as an individual person, and in doing so came to understand that they were _all_ individuals. It turned out that that particular confusion was the biggest thing between Amanda and the truth of her feelings. Once she had established, once and for all, that they could exist separately as well as together, the last pieces fell into place, and she finally knew where she stood. She was no closer to the _why_ of it, but by then she had largely given up on _whys_.

The reunion was almost more than her heart could bear. There was far too much going on for her to address it directly with him, but nonetheless, she finally had her boys back: Gripps, Cross, and – Martin. You couldn’t have made her pick amongst the Rowdy Three if you put a gun to her head; she loved them all so entirely. But Martin was different, was the one she had this connection with. She was in love with him, she now knew. She might never know why or how, but she was, and she accepted it as just part of the universe at this point.

Everything’s connected.

She had already known, already reached her conclusion. But when he was finally there with her again, she knew even more. If there had been any trace of doubt anywhere in her – and there hadn’t been – it was crushed the moment Martin reminded her that they were there for her, just for her. If she could have, she would have said something there and then, but it wasn’t the time. There was so much to deal with. So instead she hugged him again, hoping he understood.

It seemed like a lifetime had gone by, by the time they made it back home. Another case finished. A world saved. New responsibilities on her horizon, new powers she would have yet to explore. A new member of the crew. But in spite of everything that loomed ahead, she was happy. Her heart was full, to be reunited with the ones she loved so much, back home without imminent disaster hanging over her head.

She thought about how best to approach it. With Martin, how could she know? She knew him, she loved him, but that didn’t mean she could predict him. She knew he was devoted to her – if she told him to turn right and drive off a cliff, he’d do it without question. If she asked him to leave he’d be gone, and if she asked him to stay he’d never leave her side. But that didn’t mean she knew how he’d respond to romance. Even knowing he was _essentially_ human, knowing he was a man of his own, she had no idea what he felt. The footing was uneven, she realised – he _always_ knew how _she_ felt, at least to a degree.

So she waited until she was alone with him, at least. It took a few days. The Beast and the boys had been romping around all night, finally collapsing into a pile in the back of the van to sleep. Amanda and Martin were left sitting on a dilapidated bench next to the bonfire in silence, him smoking a cigarette and her sipping a beer. It was comfortable, honestly. She was thinking about talking to him, but she wasn’t anxious. Just thoughtful.

“You’ve had something on your mind, Drummer Girl,” he said finally, smoke puffing on his breath. “You gonna share?”

She ran a finger around the lip at the top of her beer can, still thinking. “I’ve been considering it,” she told him slowly. “But I really don’t know what you’ll say.”

“That so?” He was still looking into the fire, nodding thoughtfully. He took another drag on his cigarette. “Well, unless you feel one o’ those visions o’ yours comin’ on, there’s probably only the one way to find out.”

“You’re probably right,” she agreed. She turned to look at him for a moment, firelight reflecting off his glasses, all leather and bleach and cigarette smoke. She wasn’t certain what it was that made him so attractive to her, but then, that was the thing, wasn’t it? This was the universe’s doing. It didn’t have to make sense. “I think I’m in love with you,” she finally said. Then, “No, sorry. I don’t know why I put it like that. I _know_ I’m in love with you.”

“Hm.” Martin exhaled a mouthful of smoke and stubbed his cigarette out on the arm of the bench, flicking away the end. “Fancy that.”

“Fancy that,” she agreed, nodding. He hadn’t turned to face her yet, and she wondered what he was thinking. “Any thoughts?” Sometimes he had to be pressed.

“Sure,” he said easily. “I ain’t ever been in love before. Don’t get to meet a lot o’ people when you’re in a straightjacket in a hole in the floor. But there sure is somethin’ special ‘bout you, ain’t there, Drummer Girl?” Finally, he turned to look at her.

“I dunno. Is there?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I can tell you one thing. When I saw your picture,” he said, “I knew the universe was pulling us together. And despite all the bullshit the universe has pulled on me, that much made sense.”

“Did it?” she asked, amused.

“Sure did.”

There was a comfortable pause as they regarded each other, each smiling slightly. Then Amanda tipped her head to one side and asked, “So where do you suppose that leaves us?”

“Well,” he answered slowly, “it seems to leave us right here, sittin’ next to a bonfire.”

She pressed her lips together as she held in a laugh, playfully irritated with his response, and her dimples showed. He grinned toothily, completely aware he wasn’t being helpful. She had a feeling, though, that he wasn’t doing it just to mess with her – he was leaving the next move up to her, letting her decide what to do now. She considered that for a moment, sitting half-turned towards him on the old bench, one knee resting against his and her other leg pulled up onto the seat in front of her. He didn’t break the eye contact, even as the silence drew out for a few moments. And then she made a decision, pushing herself up and towards him with her heel against the seat, kissing him without hesitation.

He seemed almost surprised for half a second, as if he hadn’t quite expected her to go through with it, or to go for it so directly. But his response was immediate nonetheless. One hand on the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair and holding her in place, the other on her jaw. He tasted like cigarettes, mostly, but that didn’t bother her. When she swayed slightly, trying to maintain the awkward balance she had leaning across the bench to meet him, his hands moved fluidly to her waist and he easily pulled her into his lap, letting her position herself more comfortably with her knees on either side of him. She smiled into him as he pulled her snug against his body, and a little rumble of pleasure came from somewhere deep in his chest.

It was a while before she pulled back to look at him, curious. He looked back, apparently unperturbed, as she studied the details of his face at even closer quarters than usual. “You said you’ve never been in love before,” she commented, casually. He gave a short nod. “You know what love is, don’t you?”

Martin considered that for a second, then half-shrugged one shoulder. “After a fashion, anyway,” he told her. “What else would you call what I have with the boys?”

She smiled. “I’m just never sure with you lot. You definitely have emotions, but they’re… different from most people’s, I think. Mostly it seems to be…” She thought. “I guess I’d call it _exuberance._ ”

His only response was another wolfish grin.

“Do you think you _can_ be in love?” she asked. Straight to the point. She didn’t see any reason not to be. She wasn’t sure just yet what she would do with his answer, but she was curious anyway.

“With you?” he clarified, lifting his eyebrows. “Yes.”

More than content with that response, she leaned in to kiss him again, both of them still smiling. His hands, still resting on her hips, snaked their way around her and pulled her close again, tucking into the back pockets of her jeans; she ran her fingers up through the sides of his beard.

Like so much else these days, she wasn’t totally certain what this was. Undefined, she supposed. But she was certain that she could rely on it, certain that it was here and real and solid, and that was good enough.


End file.
